Every one is different, and each family is too. There isn't one right way to say goodbye.
I am here to listen, to guide you and to help you create a ceremony that feels right for you and your family.
Funeral Ceremonies
A funeral should reflect the person at the heart of it.
I lead funeral ceremonies at crematoria, cemeteries and burial grounds, working closely with you to bring together their story, music, readings and contributions from family and friends.
Getting to know the person we are saying goodbye to is an important part of what I do. Whether I am telling their story myself, or a family member or friend is speaking about them, I still want to understand who they were – their personality, the people and things that mattered to them, and the stories that made them who they were. It helps me bring the whole ceremony together in a way that feels personal and right for the family.
We will spend time talking through what you would like for the ceremony. There may be particular music you want to include, a reading or poem that means something to you, photographs to look back on, or family and friends who would like to take part. Equally, you may not know where to begin. That's absolutely fine – I will guide you through it.
If you are having a church funeral but would like me to write and deliver the personal tribute or eulogy, this may also be possible with the agreement of the minister or church concerned.
Whether the funeral is a cremation or burial, my aim is always the same: to make things as easy as I can for you and to create a ceremony that feels personal, appropriate and true to the person you are saying goodbye to.
Memorial Ceremonies
There are many reasons why families choose to hold a memorial ceremony.
Sometimes a funeral has already taken place, perhaps with just close family present, and a memorial gives a wider circle of family, friends and colleagues the opportunity to come together, share memories and celebrate that person's life.
For other families, a direct cremation has been the right choice. As there is no funeral service beforehand, they may decide to hold a ceremony afterwards, giving them the opportunity to remember, reflect and say goodbye in a way that feels right for them.
When it comes to a memorial ceremony, there are no rules. It doesn't have to follow a particular format or take place within a certain timescale. It can be held weeks or months later and somewhere that feels right for you.
That might be a local hall, a hotel, a pub, a golf or cricket club, at home or in the garden – perhaps somewhere that had a particular connection to the person you are remembering. Equally, it may simply be somewhere that works well for you and the people you would like to be there. It doesn't need to be a traditional funeral venue.
The ceremony itself can include their story, favourite music, photographs, readings and contributions from family and friends. It can be a celebration filled with stories and laughter, something quieter and more reflective, or a mixture of both.
If you need help finding some of the people who can bring everything together, I can also put you in touch with trusted contacts for Orders of Service and memory cards, singers or musicians – perhaps even a cellist for a special piece of music – and other services you may wish to include.
I will work with you to create and lead a ceremony that reflects the person you knew and the life they lived, bringing everything together so that on the day, you can simply be there with the people who matter.
A memorial gives you the freedom to remember someone in your own way, at the right time and in the right place.
Burial of Ashes
A burial of ashes may be a smaller and more intimate occasion, but it is still an important opportunity to come together and remember.
If I have already led the funeral ceremony, I can include elements from that day – perhaps a particular reading, piece of music, words from the tribute or memories that feel appropriate to revisit. Having already spent time getting to know you and hearing about the person you are remembering means we can create a ceremony that feels connected to the funeral, without simply repeating it.
If we haven't met before, we will spend time talking about the person whose ashes are being laid to rest and what you would like the ceremony to include.
There are no set rules about what a burial of ashes should look like. It can include readings, poetry, music, personal memories or contributions from family and friends. You may want something very simple and brief, or a little more time to reflect and remember.
I can lead a burial of ashes at a cemetery, churchyard, natural burial ground or another appropriate resting place, working with you to create something personal and fitting.